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  • It is the children’s section which ends up giving me a major headache. Not about trans* issues, nor about peak trans, but instead regarding feminism, equality and society. And the ORIGIN of the entire thing as I perceive it.

    Maybe I need to explain a few things first. I grew up in a continental European household of an artist father and a freethinking mother. They are nudists (proper ones, not the sexualised thing of later eras), which meant that parents and children (I have a brother) went naked at home and during most of our leisure time in spring, summer and autumn (which we would spend at the nudist place near where we lived).

    Sex, and who is what, were never noteworthy per se. We saw it daily, that there were boys and men, girls and women, what the differences were, and we asked questions about these differences well before we could walk. They always were matter-of-factly answered, and by the time I entered primary school I was able to explain how babies were conceived with all the whistles and bells in place. It was a totally normal thing, and the kids we met in the nudist camp all knew it as well. If everything wiggles in your face, questions arise naturally.

    My brother and I had equally as short hair (very short, very practical), we both played with non-gendered toys (former Lego, chemistry sets, stuff with which to build things, we of course both painted, etc.) and we both had the same outdoors toys (bicycles, skis, we both rode ponies, roller and ice skates, skateboards, football, table tennis). We dressed alike (trousers/jeans and T-Shirts), and I don’t think I had more than two dresses by the time I was four. I preferred trousers and didn’t like girly clothes at all.

    No one in the close family even so much as tried to turn us into gendered beings. If anything I was more masculine than my brother who had and has quite a feminine side to himself. I had girls as playmates, but I also headed a boy “gang” (more a group of children who played together) all on my own in our quarter. It didn’t occur once to me to see an example in the girly girls I played with, went to school with. I saw them, ignored their turnout and tended to be exasperated when their clothes hindered them from joining some mischief.

    Sometimes expensive or elaborate gendered toys like dolls would end up being given to us by grandparents or uncles and aunts (my brother and I each owned a teddybear-like cuddly toy, ungendered), but they tended to suffer severely in our possession. I think I decapitated and dismembered two super-costly biscuit-porcelain dolls because I wanted to look into their bodies to see how the moving parts worked. After that there were no more dolls (I think my mum told my grandmother to please forget it and instead add money to the riding lessons bank)

    Long story short: I was not only a tomboy, I completely disregarded gender and saw no need to model myself after girlier girls.

    And it stayed that way. Even at secondary school and past puberty I did not change my ways. I might use make-up, but that was more in the manner of theatrical expression – sort of David Bowie style – than to be womanly. I kept wearing trousers, and my hair could go from short to long and back, all depending on my moods. Nudism turned me against underwear, I don’t think I ever wore a bra, apart from when needing to go to a doctor, my entire life long so far, I dislike knickers, and I never shaved either. Again, these were perfectly personal decisions, and if someone contended, that was no reason to doubt myself. I simply pointed out to them that this was what I preferred and either they saw it my way – or the highway.

    I turned out to be, sexually, a bisexual butch woman, preferring males, but I am also attracted to women on occasion, and I am equilaterally poly within a mostly closed triad. I hesitatingly identify as genderqueer/gender-nonconforming, though the recent definitions have strayed too far from how I actually feel.

    Without question, if I grew up today, I probably would have been misdefined/misdiagnosed as trans. This even though I like being a woman, liked being a girl, and never questioned my biological sex. I might have grumbled in the beginning about my period, but once it settled, it was like my breasts and body hair simply signal of my adulthood. What I never conformed to were gender expectations. I simply ignored them, picked what I liked, didn’t even look at what I disliked, and no one could motivate me to change that. Also, no one really TRIED.

    When I read all these reports and articles, the descriptions on how these children deemed transgender grow up, and how their peers grow up, then the main impression I come away from this is that children and people these days are being MASSIVELY GENDERED. And it goes largely uncontested, especially by younger feminists. Whether you walk into a toy store, with its horrible sea of babyblue and pink toys, whether such prominence of “princess” movies, the prevalence of declaring girls “a princess” as something to strive for, whether the sexualising of female bodies in all media, whether the demand in some professional fields to “dress as a woman”, or for that matter the enforcement of skirts at schools with uniforms for the girls. I could go on endlessly. These days there is practically zero public tolerance of “butch” and “tomboy”, and very little public tolerance for feminine boys and men either.

    This is, quite patently, not a problem just for lesbians. It is the exact same problem for everyone, including the straight, asexual or bisexual/pansexual people.

    I’m sorry to have to point it out, but it really starts with something like this:

    “I wasn’t particularly surprised that she either wanted to be a boy or believed she was one. She had short hair and hardly ever wore dresses, which meant she looked more like the boys than the girls in her picture books and she was mistaken for a boy every single time by strangers.”

    or this

    “Though initially stunned, we realised that we had failed to read subtle and not-so-subtle signs: the legendary tantrums when she was an infant and refused to wear dresses to parties, the rejection of dolls, the enthusiasm for joining the soccer team at school. All explained at the time as a tomboy phase that she might eventually grow out of.”

    Being a boy is not about “short hair”, “no dresses”, “no dolls” or “soccer”. Being a boy means XY-chromosomes, and having testicles and a penis. And being a specific sex doesn’t at all mean one gender can’t do what the other gender does, with the exclusive exception of procreation.

    If my brother, I and all the other children at our local nudist camp were able to process this mentally as near-toddlers, including the having babies and sex bits, then I see no reason to doubt the abilities of modern children to do so too, if so taught.

    The blame is firmly on the adult generations, be it the parents, or those who are responsible for the currently so severe gendering in all instances of society. If specific clothes, behaviour, toys and sports get firmly linked to one gender, excluding the other from all instances of this, then no one else is to be blamed for the idea festering in childrens’ minds that to get what they actually like or prefer they have to change their sex.

    Where are the modern feminists, mothers and fathers, who firmly stand against our so idiotical and reactionary current gendering in society? Why don’t they see, that they force a lot of round pegs into square holes that way? Why do people feel the need even to gender anything in our current modern world? I mean, we were much farther along this in a civilised manner some 40 years ago! We have regressed (in this and in many more ways) in the past 3-4 decades. This can’t all be explained away with the AIDS epidemic.

    I believe that for as long as we do not question gender stereotypes and gendering, especially the current hypergendering right down to children, the entire transgender problem will not find any solution. What is worse, I have the feeling that there is a current selection against gender-nonconforming children, a spaying of them which will have worse results than we now can even think of.

    • Fantastic comment, Ann. Thanks for taking the time.

      You wrote, “Being a boy is not about “short hair”, “no dresses”, “no dolls” or “soccer”.”

      Of course it isn’t! I hope you realise the point I was making was that these were the cultural expectations at the time and the reason my daughter was mistaken for a boy is that she looked like how other people expected a boy rather than a girl to look. In 1990 many parents of my generation were challenging these stereotypes. I am extremely disappointed that in the years since, things have got worse instead of better.

      • Yes, of course I realise that 🙂 My point is, that no one even challenges stereotypes anymore, never mind actively works against their application. It’s totally crazy. I’d never ever have thought that I would need to explain myself – being in my early 50s – to millennial “feminists” who appear to be completely fine and tolerant with severe gendering, prostitution, and the policing of female bodies. When I was young I dreamed of the current now already being a time where biological sex doesn’t matter at all, only to realise lately that we’ve come back almost full circle.

    • I would likely have been “transed” myself in today’s climate. I had no hatred of other girls or “girly” things… I just preferred short hair because my fine hair snarled and tangled horribly if longer than chin-length. I liked Transformers better than My Little Pony because robots were futuristic and cool, and, as a farm girl, I found ponies highly uninteresting.I preferred boys clothing because it was far more comfortable, had pockets, and didn’t leave so much skin exposed.

      As I grew older, and my breasts and hips developed (unfortunately early – I was 9 when it began, and fully developed by 11), I experienced what would probably be labelled “dysphoria” now – I hated my breasts and wished I didn’t have them. Why? Because men, from my classmates to my teachers, from age 10 to age 75, stared at them. Suddenly I was a sexual object, and I HATED it. My male “friends” asked me to see them in the crawl tunnel at school. They picked me on purpose during red rover to force me to run toward them and crash into their linked arms. My gym teacher told me not to complain, that it just meant that they “liked” me.

      Most of the other girls were cruel as well. “Slut” was a common word hurled in my direction, and angry side-glances became nigh-constant. I was treated, by my peers and by adults, as though the fact that I had grown these large breasts was 1) my choice, and 2) an indication that I was “too oversexed” for my age. If there had been a community active at that time that told me I didn’t HAVE to be a girl? That I could be a boy, bind my breasts away, get them removed, and never be seen as a “slut”for having them, or a sex toy by males? I’m not sure I wouldn’t have transed myself. I’m so glad that climate wasn’t available to me.

  • Contains eyewitness info and background analysis re the Brighton trans madness ‘protest’, but actually appears on a NZ-based left-wing and gender-critical site: https://rdln.wordpress.com/2019/10/08/transgender-extremism-at-british-labour-party-conference/

  • The exhausting thing is the two front war: On the one side you have to argue against the homophobic/transphobic conservatives and on the other against the brainwashed transinclusive left.

  • Dear Maria MacLachlan,
    I just want to send you some love and thank you for your work. You are by far not alone, but a lot of people are just not aware of the conflict because of the silencing of the “terfy witches, who believe in biology”.

    What scares me most is how uncritical the public masses are. The definition of transwoman in Wikipedia:
    “A trans woman (sometimes trans-woman or transwoman) is a woman who was assigned male at birth.”
    As if the doctors were too stupid to differentiate between male and female babies, as if they could ask the baby if it “feels” male or female, as if biology doesn’t exist.
    And not enough people are correcting Wikipedia.
    A transwoman was male at birth and still is in every body cell.

    We truly live in orwellian times.

  • This site has made me feel much less alone and I’m honestly so grateful right now.
    I started transitioning from female to male 5 years ago and have since been detransitioned for 1.5 years.

    I experienced sexual trauma at a very young age and I think that’s why I dissociated from my body and felt like I hated my body in general. Later in life, I also got diagnosed with BPD and Asperger Syndrome. Now, I can finally accept that I’ve always been a woman, but I’m just not stereotypically feminine, and I’m fine with that.

    Seeing that other people still have common sense has given me hope for the future, where so much immoral activism is taking place in the name of ‘doing good’ or ‘progression.’

    Best wishes to you all, Dax.

  • Indeed. It seems rather contrary to humanist principles to run what is effectively a blog encouraging hatred of any sector of humanity.

    • Indeed what? Was this intended to be a reply to one of the comments below?

      As for your allegation, don’t be ridiculous. What I do on this website is expose the hate of trans activists for those who challenge their misogynistic ideology and behaviour. And, in keeping with humanist principles, I support what I say with evidence.

      Don’t bother commenting here again unless you’re prepared to do the same.

  • During university, I took a class of Gender Studies. At some point, of course, we studied about trans and transvestites, and I remember feeling some discomfort at watching males in short skirts, tops and huge breasts, saying they were better than women and that they could provide more sexual pleasure (?). Anyways, I told to my teacher that they were a perfomance and she just said yes. So, to my female teacher it was ok to support that show and the sexist things those males said about women. And this is the type of thinking I’m facing in most young femenists -I’m 24 years old-, I feel hopeful whenever I find pages like this one and radical feminists, thank you for this space, it seems feminism is turning its back on women and girls.

    • Thank you, Karla. If feminism is “turning its back on women and girls” then it’s not feminism and we shouldn’t call it that. I see it as a form of Mens Rights Activism.

  • Am following the jaw dropping travesty that is Jonathan/Jessica Yaniv’s malicious and egregious law suits against around 16 aestheticians in Canada who refused to wax his genitals at the Human Rights Tribunal. This revolting person Yaniv has been exposed as a predatory pervert with a fetish for periods, repeatedly targeting 10-12-year-old girls. Isn’t it ironic that leading members of the Trans movement have an extremely cavalier and dismissive attitude to the real discomfort and justified emotions of biological women! For example, twitter statements regarding the law suits by Morgane Oger “We all have to do some things at work we don’t like, grow up” etc. Yet a mere teensy word, one tiny pronoun is akin to terrific violence and threatens their very essence, which in turn often leads to permanent Twitter bans to women trying to push back this lunacy! Yet, nothing happens to those rabid trans activists that publicly call for violence on dissenting women, Twitter allows their ongoing baiting to stand.

    It’s an Orwellian nightmare to demand state enforced sexual services and to equate superficial cosmetic treatments as an essential care-giving procedure and forcing women to handle male genitalia against their will. I feel desperately sorry for the women caught up in this dystopian farce. But perhaps, the enormous stress and persecution of these beauticians will not be in vain. I sincerely hope this is the moment when the misogynistic attack and in the case of Canada, state-sanctioned gaslighting will be the defining moment to highlight all of this assault on the very essence of womanhood and finally halt the tide on the war on women! Yaniv and his ilk are trying to enforce the erasure of free will of women, impose state-legislated mandatory sex work. This is no hyperbole! In order to perform waxing on male genitals, the beautician is forced to touch and hold the penis and scrotum that very often leads to erections and even discharge of pre-cum. Yaniv and his perverted brethren are trying to push for legal precedents that will deny women any right to bodily autonomy. Ironically, legally operating sex workers have the absolute right to refuse service to clients without any explanation or specific reason.

    Those who are genuinely suffering from gender dysphoria should continue to peacefully co-exist with biological women and men but there will hopefully be a decisive stop to the unholy alliance of Incels, misogynists, sexual predators and/or men seeking to exploit women and force them to partake in their autogynephilic fetishes. Seeing the culmination of what is the result of warped and harmful gender politics and self-ID taken to its insane conclusion in Canada might be the very thing to help stop the spread of this lunacy in the UK. Maybe this is finally the moment when we can stop this insane rollercoaster and get off this crazy ride!

    • I agree almost totally too, Nina. The one bit I disagree with is who are the most vociferous misogynists. I think it is super-entitled straight males. They’re the ones who want to get into female changing rooms and toilets, get lesbians to have sex with them, push their way into women’s sports etc. Gay men unfortunately tend to ignore what is going on, although there are important exceptions like the young gay blokes who have started up a gay men’s gender-critical fb group and who are staunch supporters of Speak Up 4 Women.

  • I came across this website when doing some research for assistance to help me retransition to male because I’m over the hatred that is constantly directed towards me as a trans women. Instead all I have found is further hatred towards transgender people but this time disguised as website promoting itself as being here to help trans people. Using deceit to inflict further isolation and pain on some of the world’s most venerable people is pretty low. How much lower can you go?

    • Been on the sauce, dear? There is no deceit on this website and I’ve no idea how you manage to interpret the phrase ‘Challenging transgenderism from a feminist perspective’ as “promoting itself as being here to help trans people”. NOWHERE on this site does it suggest any such thing!

      What this site does is link to thousands of articles reporting on the impact transgender ideology is having on the lives of other people but – unlike the many transsexual writers’ whose articles I link to – I guess that’s not something you care about. Oh, and of course this site also provides hard evidence of the hatred and violence promoted by some trans people and their allies. You probably don’t care for that too much either, and I don’t blame you.

      The detransitioning page, by the way, is the most popular page on this site overall. There are many personal stories on it and not one of them gives ‘hatred constantly directed at me as a transwoman’ as a reason for detransitioning, funnily enough, though one does give the hatred directed by members of the trans community at others. I suspect I know rather more about what makes people want to detransition than you do, Emily, so next time you want to stop by and post some hate, find a better excuse.

      I wasn’t born yesterday.

    • Emily Wells is an Australian trans activist who is described as a ” Proud and visible transwoman” on Quora and who only last year was saying how accepting her conservative community in rural Queensland is. https://www.abc.net.au/news/2018-03-28/being-transgender-in-outback-queensland/9588928

      So how’s the “retransition” going, Emily? 😉

      • Peak Transer I was pretty low and looking for help when I stumbled across these pages. The information here did not help, nor are they designed to be helpful, rather they are designed to further inflict isolation and pain on transgender people.

        After reading some of the postings herein I felt lower with my self worth further evaporated – is that the objective that is being sought? Now as for the unfounded accusation of being ‘on the sauce’ as you wrote. The mere fact that you have somehow read the words ‘Challenging transgenderism from a feminist perspective’ within my simple but yet truthful statement shows that someone was, as you put it, ‘on the sauce’ but obviously not me.

        As for suspecting that you know rather more about what makes people want to detransition (retransition) than I do. From these pages of hate I suspect you only know how to drive trans people to suicide rather than seek life – but that blood is on your hands.

        • Oh cut the crap, Emily. No, of course these pages are not designed to be helpful to those, like you, who are promoting transgender ideology! Nor are they, “designed to further inflict isolation and pain on transgender people.” They are for other people like me, on whose lives that same ideology has had a catastrophic effect. As you would realise, if you’d read my blog.

          “The mere fact that you have somehow read the words ‘Challenging transgenderism from a feminist perspective’ within my simple but yet truthful statement…”

          I didn’t. ‘Challenging transgenderism from a feminist perspective’ is the subheading of this site. It’s what this site does. It’s in big letters on the front page so I assumed you’d read it. The title ‘Peak Trans’ should be a clue.

          The only ‘hate’ on these pages is in the screenshots of the vile misogynistic abuse by transactivists – the worst I’ve seen in six decades. So don’t bother playing the victim with me. My sympathy for lying trans activists ran out long ago and the only sympathy I have now is for the victims of your cult.

          If you want to have a serious discussion about anything on these pages and can manage to do so in a civil manner, feel free to come back. But I won’t be publishing any more of your lying, hateful comments.

      • Kylie after suffering moths of hatred and abuse from but a few people, I have been able to overcome the hurdles thrown in my way and I am now back on track. Retransitioning is a long way from my mind as I know who I am. And since you like researching about me, here this is my professional LinkedIn page as well https://www.linkedin.com/in/emilywells1963/ O’ and by the way I don’t know where you live but if your ever out my way and want to learn about transgender people drop me a line.

        • Perhaps if you weren’t self-obsessed you would care for other people’s feelings and concerns and you wouldn’t be making assumptions about people you know nothing about. I know a few transgender people and come across many more online. That’s why I value a site like this one that tells it like it is and gives the evidence, which is something you fail to do when you spew hate at women standing up to your kind.

    • ‘Emily’ Women are not on this earth to pander to your narcissistic, self-centred, me-me, drama llama crap! I could not give a flying fig about your ‘struggles’. We biological women have real and serious issues to deal with and simply want somewhere safe from the likes of you and other entitled men trying to prevent us from speaking to each other without your ilk trying to hijack the situation and try to silence us. We still have to face real discrimination and danger from men day in and out. We cannot just take a walk without being harassed and have to constantly appraise situations to avoid getting harmed or killed by men. And you have the gall to whine about your self-inflicted shite! Fuck off to the other side of fuck and once there, fuck off some more. I am tired of being nice to self-serving men and refuse to pander to your fetish.

      • PS: I am now worried that my last comment wasn’t really making my feelings clear enough and might look like I am still sitting on the fence with the regards to the likes of ‘Emily’ and other self-serving dudes…. lol

        • Hmmm… Actually, somehow I do sense you’re not keen on Emily’s contributions.

    • LMAO it’s promoting women, not hating on anyone. This is what discrimination looks like; men saying they’re women and being called a transphobe for saying ‘you are a man’. FFS biological reality is not hate speech.

  • Hi,

    It is a real shame, voices like this are not heard. It is not right that women who happen to question the narrative of Trans women are women, are shut down and not allowed to put their points out. It is akin to a religion being beyond question. Like in Iran one cannot question Islam. Generally what cannot be questioned is built on Sand and mass delusion. That every day house wife type women, and lesbians who have dealt with alot of prejudice of all people are excluded from the debate.

    I am a AGP Man. I struggle with my desire to want to look like a Glamourous Female, ala Kim Khardasian.
    I have had this AGP about me since I was about 11 years old.
    This desire to look Female. Does not make me Female.
    In the past I did ID as Trans Female, and would say I FEEL like a Woman.
    I dressed like a Sporty Female. I had some face work done. I slimmed down, and built up my glutes. I looked like a pretty Feminine Man. Yet my mannerisms and behaviour all reeked of White Male, with a Degree who thinks he knows best.

    Reality is no one can feel like a Woman. You are born a Woman.
    Women dont feel like Women, they are women.

    Phrases like Shes like a Man or Hes like a girl, contribute to this whole mess.
    Theres actually alot of variation in what is Male, or Female, just we sadly have created narrow gender roles as humans.

    Some Men may feel the social role that goes with the typical western emancipated woman is something they would either desire or fit into better, however this does not make them Female, in the same way, no Trans Man is really Male.

    The labels Trans Masculine, and Trans Feminine probably fit better. Than Trans Man and Trans Woman.

    May I add I am not against People transitioning, merely I feel people need to be honest about what they are and to be very very careful. If someone is prepared to use hormones, and is post operative, its very different from the typical AGP Male, who 25 years ago was called a Transvestite, and now has co opted Transsexual as an identity without actually being prepared to make the steps neccesary.

    I will say I feel AGP, is not something I chose to be, however I can choose to not feed it, and I can choose to be honest, and not co opt Identity that is not mine. If I choose to Cross Dress, etc. This dosent make me a woman.
    I should be able to use Mens bathrooms without fear of violence. Womens ones, are not for Me. Regardless of how I look, unless I am on alot of hormones, and post operative.

    Now while there is nothing wrong per se with a Man wanting to look Female, as its a free country, there is a problem when in doing this, the Man in question, co opts the rights of Women, and encroaches on Female only spaces. Much needed spaces, as frankly, as the intelligent Chimps that we are (Humans) we have a terrible history of violence against women.

    Society needs to look at
    – Its homophobia and how this encourages non gender conforming men and women to seek out Trans identity.
    – Free Speech has to be upheld. Particually for Women.

    – The alarming fact that those poor people, who through genetics and an abusive upbringing fit the category of Borderline Personality Disorder, are highly suggestable, and may well feel Transgender, when the reality is Transition is going to cause them alot of harm.

    Lastly, I will say I do not have all the answers, and I do feel there is a variety of reasons of why people choose to Transition, however, they do focus around
    SEX
    DEsire to escape Trauma of Childhood,
    Stryuggles in Social role associated with Gender
    Power and Narcisism
    DID and BPD.

    Thank you
    John

    • Thank you John for sharing this.

      There are a lot of childhood issues that can lead to someone feel like the opposite sex, but that’s all dysphoria is- an intense feeling of distress in one’s body. I was diagnosed with BPD and Aspergers Syndrome, and was inappropriately touched at age 4-5, and began to dissociate from my body ever since. I have now been detransitioned for 1.5 years after taking hormones and I am so many happier now I understand why I felt the way I did.

      People need to learn that things aren’t black and white, most people that think they’re transgender may not be, although some people will genuinely need support to transition. However, the model of care our doctors have at the moment does nothing to help people that are mistaken and are struggling in different ways.

      Your comment meant a lot to me, John. x

    • Wow John. A voice of reason and an opinion that allows shades of grey. A rare find in the internet these days.

  • Thank you (I think!) for linking to Amelia Abraham’s incredibly vapid TED talk. Dear oh dear. I’m sorry that Amelia’s “trans” friend was so mentally unwell that he had to stop coming to her Sex And The City tribute lunches. I think I too would have found myself mentally unfit to attend those events. It doesn’t surprise me to discover that she is an alumna of King’s College London, which i read somewhere (and I’m sorry that I can’t now find the reference) had the most “trans” students. Amelia would, I think, have been at King’s at the same time as leading genderfluid lights CN Lester and Travis Alabanza.
    If anyone feels they haven’t heard enough of Amelia, here she is talking to Four Queer Artists. https://i-d.vice.com/en_uk/article/8xkzap/four-queer-artists-on-how-their-work-helped-them-survive

  • I have experienced life with an autogynephile first hand, as my ex-partner of two years, who identified as transvestite at the time, is now a transwoman of this type (still with male genital organs and with no intention of transitioning, as with the majority of self-identified transwomen). Whilst I was with my ex, he openly admitted to me that he would fantasise that we were both lesbians, and I often felt objectified, the clothes I was wearing fetishized, and frankly patronised at times as I was cooed over for displaying any kind of stereotypical feminine behaviour (and I don’t consider myself a particularly feminine woman), all of which made me feel uncomfortable as it was not a reflection of how I feel about my sex, gender or sexuality. It made me feel like a prop in a man’s fantasy, his view of women and our ‘essence’, very much coming from the perspective of the male gaze. I have always been on good terms with my ex and supportive of however he wishes to express himself, but as I’ve lately been going through therapy I’ve started to look back over my past relationships and see how much was wrong with them. I cannot accept the demands of his trans-ideology which requires that I acknowledge as fact that they are a woman, to call them otherwise is hate speech, and thus by extension that I am presumably a lesbian. This is not out of any moral objection, but because it is not true, and in addition doesn’t seem to be driven by any genuine belief on their part that they are a woman, but are getting a sexual kick out of on being called one. My lived experience in my own female body as a natal born woman does not appear to be in any way similar to that of this ex-partner. He displays in his confidence to speak out about trans issues all the confidence of the white, male, middle class background that he was raised in, and I hit peak trans after they were ‘transplaining’ to me street harassment as though I, who have lived my entire life as a woman and have experienced this since pubescence, as well as being the victim of a violent sexual assault on the street, couldn’t possibly know what that’s like! Scientific text books are the only thing that should define what a woman is, not a vocal minority of men in dresses who not only insist they are women but insist we fully accept them as such or else suffer threats, shame and violence.

    • Bless you, Jojo and thank you for your enlightening comment. I plan to include more information about autogynephiles at some stage, hopefully soon. x

      • Wonderful, and I wrote this late at night so forgive me for not already mentioning how much I admire and am grateful for the work you are doing on behalf of women’s rights.

      • Peak Trans: Blanchard’s transsexualism typology which includes autogynephilia was shown to be based on faulty research. More importantly even though this has been pointed out to Blanchard on a number of occasions he refuses to accept the findings.

        • Funny how so many transsexuals self-describe as ‘autogynephiliacs’, isn’t it?

  • This site has really hit a nerve and your ‘journey’ mirrored mine. I have over the years been very sympathetic to trans women and their battle with gender dysphoria. I had an acquaintance that went through what was a gruelling transitioning process and countless operations to face, upper body and saving up for the final major surgery to recreate a vagina. One thing that struck me that this person was very wary of the emerging trans movement and especially fellow trans-women, repeatedly asserting that they did not speak for anyone but themselves because despite their posturing in ultra-sexualised ‘women’s’ clothes, they retained a very male domineering attitude to hijack any conversation and to monopolise any debate. And since then my overwhelming experience whenever encountering trans people and really only trans women is that there was a massive pity party competition to trump any of the experiences of biological women. Whenever native women speak of their experiences and especially being victims of male violence, trans women would interrupt and try to make everything about them.

    What slowly has begun to boil my pee is the totally inflated narrative of violence against trans women with rigged and completely unscientific statistics that rely on hysterical hearsay. One such statistics often trotted out is the violence against trans women in for example Brazil. However, these pseudo studies never actually give a prime figure of the overall rate of murders or violent attacks on women in general, especially in the more deprived areas. This makes the trans murder and violence statistics nonsensical. The simple fact is that violence against women is extremely high in Brazil and to ignore it is to ignore the suffering of biological women. An all too familiar experience. Another massive aspect of these skewered statistics is that many of the violence against trans-women happens against a backdrop of prostitution. In order to afford the costly cosmetics procedures that are all too often less about merely passing as female but emulating a glamour look, the share of pre-op trans women who do sex work is extremely high. Even in the UK, you can quickly see the relatively large numbers of trans escorts. However, violence against sex workers and fatalities in many countries that offer little if no protection or rights to anyone engaged in prostitution are disproportionally high anyway. It’s in this context that you may see what appears to be an alarming rate of violence and murder of trans women. However, as usual, the overall much greater violence and large number of biological female victims is conveniently ignored.

    To me the vociferous trans movement is a bandwagon upon which many people jump who do not even remotely suffer from gender dysphoria. It’s the new fashionable movement, many attention seeking gay men with a clear hatred of women jumped on. Merely being gay is so 1990. Where in the past young women fresh into college would snog and dip their toes into some lipstick lesbian experimentation, being gender fluid is where it’s at these days. Your Twitter or Instabrag profile is just too bland if you do not insert some waffle about being ‘gender queer’ whatever the feck that actually means. And this really pisses me off because it not only provides a platform for all the attention seekers but it undermines the much lower number of genuine gender dysphoria sufferers. Women are expected to pander to narcissistic transvestites or former drag queens whose idea of femininity makes Page 3 girls look cerebral! We literally are thrown back hundred years to the most rigid and ridiculous stereotypes of what women should look like. It’s like biological women are fighting on several fronts to retain their identity because on the one hand, we are bombarded with the Stripper chic of the Kerching Kardashians and on the other hand we have the most ridiculous drag queens hailed as the new beauty standard. The most vociferous voices to attack feminists are pissy, misogynistic gay men with a blatant hatred for biological women. And most of all, we are supposed to be a simpering, adoring and fawning audience for their inflated egos. Because men, regardless of who or what they shag, still expect, nay demand that we women shut up and now these trifling mofos even hijack our feminist struggle. Ms Pankhurst did not have a penis. And she sure as hell did not fight for entitled chicks with dicks!

  • I do hope that this important blog you’ve created becomes a positive source of healing for you. You have inspired me to tell the story of how I reached peak trans. I hope it helps others crystalise any disquieting thoughts they may have about the official narrative. At this point I feel like silence is acquiescence, even if I am a fearty about publishing my not-common-at-all-name. (I apologise if this is inappropriately long or in the wrong place, if so please delete it.)

    While I am not (yet) closed to the notion that some individuals will best find their place in the world living as the opposite gender to which they were born my real life interactions with MtT individuals have in nearly every instance followed a disquieting pattern that until recently I couldn’t find words for which certainly didn’t fit the media narrative. I must confess I have never met a FtT person, so I can offer no opinion but a thankfulness that my generation had a wider gender expectations because I am sure that young, unconventional me would have been very vulnerable to being persuaded that I were “really a man” which could only have led to tragedy down the road. If it hadn’t been for Mumsnet I would not have got wind of just how serious this is all getting and I would not have been exposed to the transwidows whose stories finally made me understand my disquiet which has turned into a quiet rage at what’s going on unnamed and so unchallenged.

    I am in some ways an unconventional woman, always drawn to traditionally “blokey” jobs and have never been very interested in defining my femininity in opposition to masculinity. I know I am a woman and am content to exist in my skin. The issue has until recently never felt important to my person. Since it seems the done thing to declare such things these days, I am overwhelmingly attracted to men even though I always wear comfortable shoes. The reason for this prologue will become clear, I’m sure that those of you who have been paying attention to the problem with the trans movement before I had a clue know what’s coming.

    I have one of those “open faces” and am a good listener. If you’ve stood next to me at a bus stop you may have told me your life story without ever knowing that you were going to do something like that. Several MtTs have at one time or another glommed onto me as a potential ally as I am someone who is obviously bad at performing gender. The first few times this happened I was very sympathetic. It must be a very painful experience to feel trapped in a loathed body while also having to battle against societal expectations. An acquaintance would form and then sooner or later (in my experience sooner) there would be a shift in gear. The MtT always wanted to talk about frilly knickers, corsets, makeup, high heels, and how “hot” it is to have a female body at their disposal and “didn’t I like touching myself too,” and they always seemed incredulous that my days don’t consist of “smuggling” lingerie under my workaday gear and slipping off to fondle my own breasts (always the boobies). I would get testy and underline that I am just me and that I am not very “girlie” so if they wanted to chat about those things they’d need to find another audience.

    And then it would start, the critiquing of all the ways I am not a “real” woman, and always, always an attack on my not ample bosom and indifference to cosmetics followed by shock that I didn’t simply collapse at having these “faults” pointed out. I don’t think it would occur to them that I really love my body. I think it’s amazing, capable and beautiful. I was always left with the impression that they thought they dropped me as an “inferior” specimen of womanhood, for clearly I have no agency, I’m just a faulty prop.

    I let this play out several times out of a morbid curiosity. Surely not all MtT can be like that? But each and every one I came to know in real life through progressive circles was. I still hadn’t hit peak trans though it hadn’t escaped my attention that being trans had become faddy among teenagers which worried me as my teens were a time of self-exploration and trying on different roles for fit but that didn’t involve life-altering medical interventions and I felt and still feel this is connected to constricting gender roles. What did it for me was coming across the transwidow blogs and seeing a pattern of male entitlement, rage, coerciveness, and control, which if you took out the trans element mirrored a long, damaging relationship I somehow became trapped in for the whole of my twenties (nobody expects that of a bolshie woman, do they?). It also introduced me to the term autogynephilia and I knew at once that I had met several autogynephiliacs. All those MtTs who had tried to fix me? had been deeply in lust with themselves, why else could they not believe that I wasn’t into fondling own my breasts at every given opportunity? The final hammer blow came from a blog where the writer described going to an event with her then husband and described another couple I happen to have been acquainted with years ago. They were my positive examplar of a long, happy marriage with an out MtF (as I then thought), but this description was not idyllic and it had such a ring of truth to it, the woman being used as a template like by an alien trying to copy how to human. Finally I saw the danger of not being allowed to even say, “not all these trans are the same,” or “a man should not be allowed to deny a woman her own definition of womanhood.” I may just have hit peak rage when a discussion about the worrying renewed rigidity and contraction of gender roles on a formerly favourite forum was silenced by a slew of “denying gender roles erases transpeople” comments. I won’t swear since I am a guest, but I am still seething inside.

    I am a generation Xer. As I came of age I had no sense of how hard the second wave had fought. I was vaguely grateful to them like I was to the soldiers who won WWII (if only history were as simple as it’s taught at school), but they were just embarrassing in the new egalitarian world they’d helped make. Their warning about males colonising women were misunderstood by my teenage peer group (“is this a sex thing? Eeeeew!”) and dismissed. Well, here we are and I have been found sleeping on the job. I should have listened all those decades ago. I’m listening now and am trying to figure out how to help.

    • Fascinating comment – thank you so much for taking the time. x

    • Oh yes to all you’ve written! Thank you

    • I know you’ve said many important things here but I can’t resist telling you that I just love this line, ‘I am overwhelmingly attracted to men even though I always wear comfortable shoes’. I love it!

  • I work with the Community Behavioral Health Services of San Francisco. I feel that everyone is deserving the respect of their own name and identity. I feel it my responsibility to reach out and respectively validate that person’s identity. If that person is comfortable with male/female, other of no pronouns, I need to make the effort out of respect for that individual to use the name and pronoun they identify with at that time. I find that often people who are not familiar with this act of respect are often critical or offended by my request of their prefer. It is not as difficult in San Francisco, but outside of the area people often will respond, “Don’t I look like a guy/girl? What’s wrong with you?” I don’t want to offend anyone, but it is a dilemma.

    • First world problems. Best not to stray out of SF too often, eh?

    • How cute! Mansplaining to the silly gals who don’t want some dude in pig tails with a Lolita fetish in our legally enshrined same-sex spaces.

  • This is such an important campaign, that everyone needs to be informed as to what is happening. This will affect every part of day to day life if the reforms to the Gender Rights Act are allowed to go ahead unchecked.

    I wonder if anyone one of you can honestly say that you are comfortable with placing men, some of whom have sexually violent and criminal background into All-Female Prisons, Rape Crisis Centres, Refuges, and other ‘Female-Only Safe Spaces? Please do not naively think that this is a women-only concern and that because you are male, it will not encroach on your life, because it already has!

    Women who are presently shouted down, no-platformed, and accused of being ‘Transphobic’ by ‘Transactivists’, Academic Institutions, and Political Parties, including the Women’s Equality Party, and the Labour Party, are being victimised, because they choose to refer to themselves as ‘biological women’ and/or lesbians. Women who express the need to discuss important issues that affect them on a daily basis such as Menstruation, Pregnancy, Miscarriage, Abortion, and Menopause are being silenced, bullied, and threatened physically in person and online. BUT be assured MEN, that you too will be accused of ‘Transphobia’ if you believe and proclaim that you are biologically male, and have the right to male-only spaces. You may also find yourself being fined or losing your job, or a position on a committee or board, if you do not adhere to all of these new rulings, one of which is that you must use the prefix ‘CIS’ when referring to yourself as the biological sex you were born, otherwise you will be accused of being ‘violent’ toward transactivists. These things are already happening to women and men in the UK and the USA.

    Let me ask you; if you are a father who has a daughter; are you happy with adult men and boys being allowed in female changing rooms and showers? Are you comfortable with allowing boys to win prizes in ‘girls-only’ track events at school sporting events? Are you happy to watch as a man claims sporting prizes for a sport where women have sacrificed and trained for years, only to be deposed on the podium by a man who has a biological advantage? Are you happy to allow a man into the boxing ring to fight women? What if these female athletes were your daughters or family? How would you feel?

    What if your young son or daughter professed confusion and discomfort in regard to their gender; are you happy knowing that doctors will quite easily prescribe ‘Puberty Blockers’ to children as young as 10 years old, and if that child decides to eventually ‘transition’ fully, they may eventually be persuaded to undergo mastectomies or castration. NOBODY knows the long-term effects of taking artificial hormones for the rest of one’s life. For God sake, the medical profession is only just admitting that the Pill and HRT if taken long-term, may have serious detrimental health effects on women resulting in varying forms of cancer.

    The concerns that I have raised only begin to scratch the surface.

    NO ONE is advocating that Transpeople do not deserve the dignity, equality, and rights that are accorded to the rest of society, because let me be clear about this, they unequivocally do! BUT, this needs to be talked about rationally, because there have to be alternative measures taken to ensure that Trans people are safe and healthy and are afforded exactly the same opportunities in life as everyone else, WITHOUT eroding freedom of speech, and the rights that biological women have fought so long and hard for.

    We live in a democracy and therefore everyone on both sides of the argument should be consulted and properly informed. Do not let the government ride roughshod over you, because at the moment, if you have concerns over the Gender Recognition Act, not one single political party cares about what you think!

  • Maria, I use this website as my main research center on issues of transgenderism. It is an invaluable resource. I so appreciate the work you’ve done here. Thank you. I wish you the best in all things.

  • Hi, keep up the good work! I went “peak trans” a few years back – I had no idea there was a word for it . . .

    I have also subsequently ditched all of the horrific narcissistic trans acquaintances I had the misfortune to know. With two possible exceptions, every one of the mtf transexuals was deeply mysoginistic and homophobic.

    As I keep telling them, there is more to being a woman than a pair of plastic tits, too much make-up and a nasty fake personality. Frankly, I’m more ladylike than that lot. Not that you know me, but if you did you’d know that i look nothing like a woman.

  • I can only really echo what others are saying. I am shocked at the vitriol and misogyny directed at women expressing reasoned and measured opinions about the trans issue. It is an outrage against women coupled with mass denial from large swathes of the Left. If people do eventually wake up to this assault on free speech, I wonder just how much worse things will be by then. You are extremely brave.

  • Thank you Maria! You have the respect and admiration of many. We will survive this hideous onslaught against women and come out the other side more resilient, stronger and with our integrity intact.

  • You appear to be having a problem not with trans people but with the rabid left who are using them as a tool. As a consequence like a bull running at a matadors cape, you miss the cause and attack the symptom.

    Trans people have been around for decades quietly getting on with life, not bothering anyone and then suddenly – BANG! Doesn’t that strike you as strange? It should do because it’s the sign that an outside interest has suddenly taken an interest.

    Renee Richards was an tennis international in the 1970s – didn’t do particularly well (scotching the false assumption that they would) but no one created a song & dance like this website! Why not? Because it wasn’t that big a deal. No one cared enough, and that’s the point.

    There is a cause to all this and it’s not just affecting this issue but several others too. You should be fighting this cause together with all the other groups and not attacking a group who until a few months ago you probably never even thought about.

    The left wreck everything they touch, and then move onto to something else good, and wreck that. They never admit that they did anything wrong, or ever attempt to put things right. This is a psychological condition called Left Wing Denial, and it has been responsible for more non – natural deaths than any other cause. If we take our eyes off them, by being distracted by one of the groups they are using a tool, and as such just as much victims, then we allow them to carry on unimpeded. Surely no one wants that ?

    • Maybe try reading more of this site before making assumptions about me and posting conspiraloon theories.

  • Thank you so much for this. It has become terrifying to be a woman lately. I’m particularly disturbed by the vitriol received from women supporting the trans cult.

  • We stand with you, Maria. Thank you for this richly annotated center for research on the whole complex issue of transgenderism.

  • You are a brave woman. Thank you for sharing with us. You are not alone.

  • Thoughtfully curated and annotated. Thank you for making. I especially appreciate your thorough section on the transitioning of youth.

  • Fantastic site and very informative collection of resources. Well done and thank you.

  • Thank you so much for this, it has increased my understanding so much. I will be following closely.

  • Two half years ago my life changed dramatically. I found out my bf was bi. Not only that but he liked and had sex with transvestites.to cut a long story short, after hvg a very kinky couple of years it made me feel very uncomfortable that all these tv’s call each other ‘girls’.and tbh being a woman in a virtually total secret male world opened my eyes tremendously.to see SO many ‘straight’ (yeah right) men cheating on their wives/gf with men was pretty shocking and horrendous. And seeing their attitudes to women as well!! Most of the extremely promiscuous tv’s r straight acting and their partners have no idea that they regularly have sex with other men.anyway, fast forward to about 3 weeks ago.always feeling uncomfortable with the term ‘gender’ especially being referred to as ‘cis’ i came across really quite by accident, the anti trans movement and the term terf.

    Lets be honest here, there are aggressive people on both sides of the fence. But the absolute bile and venom that militant trans supporters spew out has genuinely shocked me. I started out being ok with trans ppl living their lives, although i have never really been comfortable with them referring to themselves as women and even less so as ‘lesbians’!!! Then u find out that there are little twats out there (lily madigan). At first i kind of supported him as a her, but seeing how he blocks virtually all women who disagree with his pov and talks quite frankly, out of his arse, (and is incredibly smarmy with it) has made me feel so angry that little twats like that can self id and get jobs as a womens officer and be supported by a man i used to respect (Jeremy Corbyn) that i have done a total u turn. Well almost!

    I do feel that if a man goes through the whole process INCLUDING surgery, then i feel they have won the right to b referred to as a woman. But ONLY under those circs. They will never be a female, but to me it shows the depth of feeling that i think should be respected by us. But anything less, and especially the idea of self ID is just insanity and a total and utter insult, not only to women, but to other TW who have gone through the whole ‘transition’ process. Some of you wont agree with my last statement, i know that. But i do think that we as a movement need to show willing here. To totally block any circumstances of a man who really is unhappy living as such, from going through a system of full change i think is wrong. It isnt democratic. But anything less than full transition is unacceptable. Sorry for my waffle!

    • *I do feel that if a man goes through the whole process INCLUDING surgery, then i feel they have won the right to be referred to as a woman. But ONLY under those circs. They will never be a female, but to me it shows the depth of feeling that i think should be respected by us.*

      I disagree Scarlett – I feel they have the right to be called a transwoman. I am reluctant to share the name that is given to my biological sex and my socialised history to a subset of males who have undergone surgery to outwardly appear similar to me. Much less try to re-identify me by adding the pre-fix cis or natal to distinguish me whilst commandeering the ‘identity’ of woman for themselves.

    • As a Transwoman myself, I cannot agree with ever calling us women, we are not women, yet at the same time we arent really “men” … me and many other transsexuals are just fine being called Transwomen, thank you. its a part of our culture, getting rid of our terms (just like in the case of men taking the word woman) you are effectively taking away our culture, experiences, etc… from us.

      so no, as a Transwoman i would never call myself, or other Transwoman, a “woman”

      • Alina, I have the utmost respect for your comment and really appreciate this point of view. I am also concerned that the vociferous ‘trans allies’ harm you rather than support you. I witnessed transwomen with similar opinions being shouted down, completely ignored or being ousted by those who aren’t actually trans. We women share this same plight.

  • Thank you for this. I have had nasty responses and been added to lists such as c**t and TERF for commenting and liking on Twitter. Your site has answered so many questions and helped me to understand just why I have felt so uncomfortable about a lot of what I read about male transgendering. I will support and keep reading.

  • Thanks for doing this. We’re with you. Your curating of all your research here will help us all.

  • We stand with you. Thank you.

  • Excellent. Thanks!

  • Thank you

  • Thank you and will be watching.

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